When (a suposed deity) gives you lemons, you may as well make Apple Juice.

That may sound like a hard thing to do, but I know somehow those that believe will keep trying. The rest of us have already learned better and await our demise in peace.

Anyway: ;-0 || [-8 A familiar scene anyone? NO? Okay....

Now where was I....

Oh yes, Let us get something straight. You -can't- do the impossible. Perfection -is- unatainable. There I said it. SO STOP. A half-assed job is acceptable. Sure no one may tell you that out right, but those are the norms by which we all live.

Okay now live out your lives, living only to your own tune.

SCREW SOCIETY: TELL EM TO $#*% OFF!!!!

Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo

Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo

Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me

"Look ma, no cavities"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

My butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To "24" to "Law And Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like "60 Minutes"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "E! True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"CSI: Boise" and "Touched By An Uncle" both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
And "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

I'll move right on to "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet
I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go 'Mahna Mahna'

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're Gonna)

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without A Trace"
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians"

Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eatin' fools on "Survivor"
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's "Gilligan" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "MacGyver"
And Jay Leno has got Madonna, hey there's Luke Perry on a
Special all Pig-Latin episode of "Drew Carey"

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show" (no)
I got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
(You're gonna)

You can watch anything you want to, man

Pen in my nose

Pen In My Nose

Why I don't knows?!?!

The Only Thing That Will A Difference

now ummm.... hmmm.... Yeah I don't really know.

Got a headache right now and I look like crap to boot.

I dunno....

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna

Spreadin' on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a litle of this bologna
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out
If we do I'm sure that I'll miss bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna

[belch]

Goin' to the market now, market now
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer
Walkin' down the shopping isles, shopping isles
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna

Blaidd Drwg -- You don't know everything

BACK IN UGLY-COLOR

If you have had the supreme pleasure of watching the new season of Doctor Who on the BBC, or other means (bittorrent), then you may know what this is about.

Everyone else: grin and bear it! (be sure to clean up afterwards)

This has just been an exceptionally outstanding show, bringing about one incredible episode after another. And now it appears as though the Doctor, Rose and Captain Jack are in the most perculiar situation. I can not wait to see how it ends, but I am sure that everyone wants to know, WHERE THE &$*@ DID THOSE DALEKS COME FROM? I MEAN MY GOD.

I can not wait for the next episode, I am so hungry in anticipation, I have spent hours scowring Bad Wolf Websites (those relating to Doctor Who).

And in closing, what could be more appropriate:

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Long ago there were three pigs
Little handsome piggy-wigs
For the big, bad very big very bad wolf
They didn't give three figs

Number one was very gay
And he built his house of hay
With a hey hey toot
He blew on his flute
And he played around all day

Number two was fond of jigs
And so he built his house with twigs
Heigh diddle-diddle
He played on his fiddle
And danced with lady pigs

Number three said "Nix on tricks
I will built my house with bricks"
He had no chance
To sing and dance
'Cause work and play don't mix

Ha ha ha! The two little
Do little pigs just winked and laugh, ha ha!

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Came the day when fate did frown
And the wolf blew into town
With a gruff "puff-puff" he puffed just enough
And the hay house fell right down

One and two were scared to death
Of the big bad wolfie's breath
"By the hair of your chin-ny-chin,
I'll blow you in"
And the twig house answered yes

No one left but number Three
To save the piglet family
When they knock
He fast unlocked
And said "Come in with me!"

Now they all were safe inside
And the bricks hurt wolfie's pride
So, he slid down the chimney
And, oh, by Jimney
In the fire he was fried

Ha ha ha! The three little
Free little pigs rejoice and laughed, ha ha!

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf
Big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Tra la la la la!

Staring at a blank screen....

I have no idea. It makes no sense to me.

Oh well.

Carry On.

The Thrill Is Gone

You know how at first something seems so good and great, and then it turns out to be a total crap load? Well, that is something that happens a lot. I am currently going through one of these phases.


Anywho, if anyone else is going through this or understands, then it would only be appropriate for me to put these song lyrics below.

Artist: B.B. King Lyrics
Song: The Thrill Is Gone Lyrics

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you'll be sorry someday

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good
Someday I know I'll be over it all baby
Just like I know a man should

You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's over
All I can do is wish you well

There all better? No?
Well I can't help you out. You'll have to get past this one yourself.

Just a reminder...

Um....

For those who didn't see it, I posted my contact info a few posts ago.
It is all in the side bar.

Please find it there.

Don't ask for it.

Also do not swear, or at least don't use those words, you know who you are.

That comment is going to go.