Thursday, August 04, 2005

Tommorrow is Yesterday's Today?

It makes me wonder sometimes, why?

I want to clarify, that at no time, while blogging, or before or after for that matter, was I on any form of drug, aside from caffeine, which I shouldn't take for personal health reasons.

This is all part of my regular thought process.

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The above post was to answer my first "blog fan question" by someone who I shall not mention, as they did not give me their name. Anyway....

I do wonder, why would someone think I need to take drugs to alter my state of reality. I learned long ago that I live in my own fantasy world. I mean for goodness sake, I trust the government, not completely, or that is more to say I actually have faith that they will do good. Of course my idealism is quickly shattered by pravda and then I become depressed and sad.

After I decide that ending it isn't an option, I go on believing that things can only get better from here on out and then they only get worse or sometimes, just every now and then, a glimmering spot comes around and something good happens for a change. It makes me so sick to think that really the world is really horror and disgust with an occasional "sunny day." But I think we have all just learned to live with it, either that or bottle it all away, as I have.

Of course, if this life was meant to be enjoyed most of us probably wouldn't be here. However in the end, everything is about the material world and possesion, which leads to power and idle promises, which leads to suffering and pain, which leads to hate and destruction, but ultimately a rebirth, though never in a new direction. Only a repetition of the same old thing.

Everything has already happened, and everything will happen again. There isn't a damn thing we can do to stop it and that is the way things are.

Now -- a song --

Heaven
A gateway to hope
Just like a feeling
I need, it's no joke

And though it hurts me
To see you this way
Betrayed by words
I'd never heard
Too hard to say them

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Oh it's the last time, it's the last time
Oh it's the last time, it's the last time

Each way I turn
I know I'll always try
To break the circle
That has been placed round me

From time to time
I find I lost
Some meaning
That was urgent
To myself
I do believe

Oh, up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Oh, up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Oh it's the last time, it's the last time
Oh it's the last time, it's the last time

And I have never met anyone quite like you before
And I've never met anyone quite like you before

And I have never met anyone quite like you before
And I've never met anyone quite like you before

And I've never met anyone quite like you before
Oh, up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

And I never met anyone quite like you before
Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home