Friday, August 28, 2009

Humor on the NET: Installing a Husband

 
 

Sent to you by Warbenekar1 via Google Reader:

 
 

via Dvorak Uncensored by John C Dvorak on 8/26/09

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

***************************************************************

DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Tooting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck !

Tech Support

Found by Brenda Christensen.



 
 

Things you can do from here:

 
 

You Thought The ‘Death Panels’ Was As Low As They Could Go? Ha!

 
 

Sent to you by Warbenekar1 via Google Reader:

 
 

via Dvorak Uncensored by Uncle Dave on 8/28/09

Are they that desperate and afraid of losing that they have to resort to something so blatantly stupid that even morans should be able to see through it? Take a look at the survey.

Apparently the death panels myth wasn't enough for the Republican National Committee. They're apparently trying to start a whole new one — now, it won't just be old people who will be refused care under Democratic healthcare plans, but all Republicans.

The RNC sent out a fundraising mailer recently. Couched as a survey, it contained one question that reads, "It has been suggested that the government could use voter registration to determine a person's political affiliation, prompting fears that GOP voters might be discriminated against for medical treatment in a Democrat-imposed health care rationing system. Does this possibly concern you?"

This would be laughable if it weren't so shameless, so irresponsible and so dirty.



 
 

Things you can do from here: