Monday, May 29, 2006

New Course

I am considering this. And sure it sounds pointless since no one reads the blog anyway, but doing segments, if you willon certain days of the week, along with the regular B.S. Now I haven't figured out what I'd do yet, but like once a week, every day having a different topic, I'd talk about one thing. Either Complaining or joking, etc., And like I said, the Usual B.S. would be there too. Well I want to know what you think. Not really. But tell me anyway.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Post 300

This is the 300th Post to this crappy blog.

Wow...I've lasted this long and I still get an occasional reader.

Of course, that isn't really what this post is about at all.

I guess mainly what I want to say is that I am in love with the most beautiful, funny, charming, witty, charismatic, cheerful, pleasant, lovely, wonderful, attractive, amazing, fantastic girl in all the world. And if you disagree with me, tough because it is true.

I would do anything for her and I love her more than one can properly write in words. She is the one thing that gives my life meaning. She is the one person that makes me truly happy.

However, at the same time I am making her miserable, I know this, even though she may not come right out and say it, but it is true. I am so far away from her right now and it kills me, I want to be there every night and make sure she is able to fall asleep and I want to be there every day to make sure she is protected from whatever danger she may come into contact with, but I can't. I feel as though I am betraying her in a way, and that is the last thing I want to do. Of course, I don't know if she thinks that, I doubt it, but I could be wrong.

I find myself almost at tears writing this, because I feel like a lousy boyfriend and even lousier friend. Just leaving and pretending that is okay. I am torn.

I want to do something to make up for what I have done, but at the same time, I don't know what I could do to make up for putting someone through pain grief and turmoil. I feel so bad about myself. I just I don't know what to do.

I have a hard time visualizing things so I can't really imagine what it is exactly she is going through even though we talk all the time on the phone. Send text messages and emails. IM each other like crazy. Of course it still doesn't make up for the fact that we are so far apart. So I just can't imagine what it is she is really going through. I mean even if she tells me, I still can't imagine, because I just can't visualize it. I seem to be incapable of visualizing pain, or feelings of discomfort if you will. I think empathy is the term, I lack the ability to feel what others are feeling and when I do, it is still somehow wrong.

I just wish that I had never left to begin with. Sure my family is great, but can love compare to family. And sure you can say that there is some sort of love associated with family or some crap like that, but I just lost my train of that. What I am trying to say is I'd much rather be with her, right now.

I love you Chelsea.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Okay you lame ass slackers...

Yes you, with your names to the right...

Start contributing damnit.

That is why you are contributors.

'nuff said.

=Ben=

1 month, 25 days, 23 hours

Time Until I see my love again: 56 days, 23 hour

Time I can't wait: -13 days.

Waiting Sucks. Time Sucks. Seperation Sucks.

-B-

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Ground Control To Major Tom

Here am I floating round my tin can
Far above the moon
Planet earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do.

Ground control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you....

far beneath the ship
the world is mourning
they don't realize
he's alive
no one understands
but Major Tom sees
now the Light commands
this is my home
I'm coming home

I've heard a rumour from Ground Control
Oh no, don't say it's true

They got a message from the Action Man
"I'm happy, hope you're happy too
I've loved all I've needed to love
Sordid details following"
...

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom's a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low

This was hidden inside the ventilation shaft,
Day No. 33, Captain's Log 445A,
And it seems the captain and its crew are on its last legs,
All this culture clash is getting to me now,
Am I the last one up above in the place?
Tell my wife and kids I love them very much I know,
Ground control to Major Tom

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The weirder something is the more likely it is to happen

Perhaps I just jump to my own conclusions, but I find it to be true.

The odd, or obscure, always seem to find a way to pop up and occur. Or at least those things which should be the least likely to happen.

I dunno.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

You know...

the worst thing about washing a car would have to be if its windy and your cleaning the interior and as you walk away with ashtray cigarette butts and ash flies in your face.

Of course when money is involved there are only a few things I won't do.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

Friday, May 19, 2006

saw the sights...need a vacation

Boy, today was a day.

Pictures later.

Need to rest heavily.

=b=

Going to see some sights today

Today we will see the sights. Where I am not really sure. Either way, it should be fun, I think.
There will be pictures and the like later.
Until then,
=B=

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Just another Wednesday!!

Middle of the week. Bored. Nothing to do. Don't have a job yet. Hopefully that will change.
If it doesn't well God this will be a more boring summer, during the day at least.
During the night, when I am talking to Chelsea, then things are great.

I have been spending the day catching up on TV.
Some stuff has been good some other stuff not so much.
I really liked Greys Anatomy. The West Wing, that was great.
What else did I see? Oh yeah Alias was good. So was the Simpsons and Family Guy.
American Dad was also good. I'll be watching Boston Legal later.

Anyway, enough about my boring day.
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer.
Good Times!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

I just thought it was funny enough to post

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

here now

well, as if my week couldn't have ended on a more awkward note:

School ended last Friday for us, (that is the 5th) and so we got all moved out of our apartments. I then spend a week with my lovely and beautiful girlfriend (see post below) but I just end up leaving. I am not at my parents home in Fort Belvoir.

I am sad and happy and just plain confused.

I hate air travel...so loud, so many people.

Here now and all is well, but I am sad. However, I plan on getting a job and working for school. So yeah!!

Well see what happens.

Miss you all.

=Ben=

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Elizabeth really cramps my style

I am trying to watch a movie and she comes over and starts talking to my girlfriend. Then she does some homework assignment on the computer. Wasting even more movie time. So I am forced to write about it on my blog, out of sheer boredom. Also, our Chemistry Final was this morning. YAY!!

J/K, I don't mind you too much Elizabeth...sort of, though you can be annoying.

I don't have a clue

I'm so very tired. It's almost all the time now.